May PLUG Meeting: Stuart Is Awesome

Aaron Toponce aaron.toponce at
Thu Apr 29 22:49:24 MDT 2010

We need some more antagonism.

On 04/29/2010 01:55 PM, Jacob Albretsen wrote:
> Richard Stallman wears Stuart Jansen pajamas.

Richard Stallman's nightmares consist of Stuart Jansen.

> Stuart Jansen yells at his cell phone to recharge it.

Stuart Jansen's cell phone is made out of two tin cans and a string.

Stuart Jansen does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the
incoming electrical impulses and sends the call to Gmail.

> A Zen student once asked his master: "Does Stuart Jansen seek  
> enlightenment?" To which the Zen master replied "No, enlightenment  
> seeks Stuart Jansen." At that moment, the student became enlightened.

Enlightenment comes only when Stuart Jansen teaches Windows administration.

> Stuart Jansen once caused a kernel to panic by pointing his finger and  
> his laptop and yelling, "Bang!"

When there's a kernel panic, Stuart Jansen caused it.

> When a Jedi senses a great disturbance in the Force, it is Stuart Jansen.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to Stuart Jansen.

> When Google can't find something, it asks Stuart Jansen for help.

Google won't search for Stuart Jansen because it knows you can't find
anything behind that beard (that should probably be directed to
redbeard2 :)).

Stuart Jansen's laptop doesn't have a CTRL key, because Stuart Jansen is
never in control. However, Stuart Jansen's laptop does have an escape
key, because you can always escape from Stuart Jansen.

. O .   O . O   . . O   O . .   . O .
. . O   . O O   O . O   . O O   . . O
O O O   . O .   . O O   O O .   O O O

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